My Story of Flowing w/ the Feminine
Six months ago, my period stopped. Again.
Six months ago, I started losing weight. Again.
Urghhhhhhh... I found myself standing in a place I'd visited many times before. A quiet chapter that had woven itself through the past 10+ years of my life.
For a long time, this went hand in hand with disordered eating and an unhealthy relationship with food. I swung between restriction and binge eating after experiencing food poisoning multiple times earlier in my journey and not understanding why certain foods made me feel the way they did.
Then I found Ayurveda.
For the first time, the pieces of the puzzle started making sense. It gave me a completely different lens through which to understand my body.
Around the same time, deepening my relationship with God gave me the strength to surrender instead of constantly trying to fix or control everything. It taught me to trust.
Last year, for the first time in what felt like forever, I reached a healthy weight for my body. I let love in. My period returned after so many years of amenorrhea. I felt balanced, grounded, and honestly couldn't believe it.
But earlier this year, after some stress and unresolved trauma from my past resurfaced, my period disappeared again... along with my weight.
This time, though, something was different. Instead of feeling hopeless, I had so much faith that I could find my way back to balance.
So I turned down the external noise.
I rested.
I breathed! Properly.
I nourished, nourished, nourished.
I slowed the f down and added pauses between tasks (still working on that in some areas)
I adapted my sadhana to meet me where I was.
I supported my nervous system.
I stopped forcing.
I softened.
I stopped holding so much tension.
I stopped overthinking every meal.
I stopped looking at external resources (doubting myself) when I knew the answer already.
I ate intuitively and without guilt or fear!!!
I let my belly hang out and made sure i was comfy at all times!!!!
I stopped living on autopilot.
I spoke to God more and released the shame about it.
I listened more deeply.
Somewhere along the way, I realised my body wasn't working against me.
It was asking one simple question.
"Am I safe?"
Rewiring old thoughts and habits takes time. But instead of trying to control my body, I started showing it love, nourishment, joy and softness.
I let go of timelines. I stopped trying to sync with the moon.
I let go of perfection. I embraced the messy moments.
And I slowly released years of conditioning I'd been carrying around.
Little by little, my body responded.
First, my appetite returned.
Then I felt warmer.
My digestion became stronger.
My energy came back.
My cheekiness came back.
I laughed more.
I stopped feeling guilty for resting.
I stopped suppressing pleasure.
I became softer.
More feminine.
More me.
I regained 4kg in just 3 weeks! I got my curves back.
And then, when I least expected it...
My period returned. 🥹
I honestly don't think I've ever wanted something so badly!!
Like the flower I am, I remembered something simple.
Nature doesn't force.
A flower doesn't bloom because it's rushed or told what to do. It just is… it blooms because the conditions are right.
I truly believe our bodies are no different.
We are nature, after all.
This journey has deepened my trust in the body's innate wisdom, the healing power of nature, and the importance of supporting the nervous system alongside the physical body. it’s a long process when you go at it naturally, but it is sooo worth it.
It's also why I chose to study Ayurveda and become a Health Counsellor (watch this space as I head into the last third of my studies). Not because I believe there's only one path to healing, but because this path transformed my life and I have so much experience and confidence in this space.
Healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about coming back home to who you've always been.
So here's your little reminder to nourish yourself, trust your body, and let life unfold.
And if you've ever struggled with food, labels, weight, hormones or your cycle, please reach out. I love talking about this stuff!
🤎
Flow, don't force. x
